Party Like it's 2009....

Another year down... here's my 2009 in a nutshell.

January: Started off the year with my adoring boyfriend, living with my roomie, K, and my 2 pups and 2 kittens.  I was in school, had a full time job.  Things were pretty good.

February: Took J out of town for Valentine's day and came back to being laid off.  No more job but still bills to pay and school to attend.

March:  Desperately trying to find a job even though I got unemployment.

April:  J had to stop an internship and wait to re-start later.  Post-poned leaving where I was living until after the summer.

May:  Turned 24.  Finished another semester at school with good grades.  J moved into my apartment.

June:  Figured if I still couldn't find a job, might as well enjoy my summer.  Spend a lot of afternoons at the beach and walking to the dogs all over.  J graduated. 

July:  Still was pretty lazy, but got a nice tan!

August:  Started the process of packing and applying for a new apartment in a new city.  Began another semester at school.

September:  Moved!  Got used to driving 3 hours to school and home a couple times a week.  Not ideal, but it's the best situation for finishing my Bachelors.

October:  Spent A LOT of time away from the new home.  Did F.F. for Halloween and had oodles of fun with that group of friends.  Missed J and the 'kids' from being away so much.  Had a pain-in-the-ass project for school.

November:  Still driving up and back for school.  Spent Thanksgiving with just J and the 'kids' for the first time.

Decemeber:  Finished another semester at school.  Got pretty good grades.  Spent Christmas with the fam.  Got really bored and lonely being home alone so often.

My hopes for 2010 (in random order):

- Graduate college
- Find a job in my chosen career
- Regain some funds in the bank account
- Possibly get a bigger vehicle
- Find new friends in this new city

Money can't buy Happiness..

..but I call BULLSHIT on that one.

Sure, money can't buy everything but it is a major part of living in this country. Money pays the rent, the car payment, the cell phone bill, the groceries, the pet food. Money puts gas in your car, clothes on your body, shoes on your feet, cable on your TV. Money basically makes a person capable of NOT living on the street. And without any money, you have no home, no car, no food, no anything. And sure, you have family, you have friends, you have love. But unfortunately (Beatles how I love you so), All you need is -NOT- love. You can't function in society without money. Therefore, you're not really all that happy.

I could live with very little, in fact, I've gotten used to living with fairly little. But after being unemployed for so long, the lack of money is making me super depressed. I can't think about money without either wanting to tear my hair out or break down and cry. It's hard. I'm a proud person, I don't want to NEED anyone to help me. It kills me to ask for help. I appreciate that when J (my boyfriend) got his job he said I didn't need to worry about as many bills because he would take care of it. And that's great, but it makes me feel a little like shit. I want to contribute, I need to contribute. Lately, after the big bills, I barely have enough money to function. I bought myself a pair of winter boots the other day because I sold my school books back and I had a few extra bucks. I needed winter boots, I live in the Midwest and we get a LOT of snow and it gets really COLD. I haven't had real boots in at least 3 years. So the purchase was not just a "wow, these are cute, I want them" purchase, it was a "wow, these are cute, on sale and will keep my feet warm and dry for once" purchase. And now this week, things are tight and I could really use that money. Desperately. Christmas was super stressful for me this year too. I work a temporary job in October (a Halloween event) and I normally use that check as fun money and Christmas present money. But this year, that money was necessity money and Pay the Rent money. Most Christmases, even though my family does a Secret Santa because there are so many of us, I try to get something little for everyone. This year I could barely get anything for just my parents. As much as I know Christmas isn't about the gifts, I LIKE buying gifts for people. This year I couldn't. I hate that I can never visit friends or do fun things with them like go to concerts and shows and movies and parties. It's not just the tickets or cover charges or things like that, it's the gas and the meals and the treats. I can't afford any of it. And writing all of this down is making me pretty depressed too. *sigh* Sucks, sucks, sucks. I need a job. But that's a whole 'nother depressing story.

<3

Set it off

I wasn't sure if I wanted to do a little opening number to start things off but I guess in order for anyone to really give a shit I'll tell you a little about me. In list form, because lists make me feel good.

• I'm a 24 year old chick from the Midwest.
• I hate snow.
• I have 2 dogs and 2 cats.
• I have a super smoking hot boyfriend who has his doctorate.
• I have been in college since 2003 and will (hopefully) graduate in 2010.
• I have a mild (undiagnosed) case of OCD.
• I think the whole Twilight thing is overrated.
• I'm left-handed but I can do most things right-handed.
• I hate people who try to hard.
• I'm currently unemployed because I got laid off last February.
• I am too proud to ask for help, for anything.
• I'm a control freak.
• I'm funnier in real life than I am on-line.
• I'm a good friend, but not a great friend.
• I am half-Jewish and half-Catholic but familiarize myself more with the Jewish half.

I'm sure there's more that will be dug up along the way, but you get the idea.

I started this blog anonymously and there's a few reasons for that. I will probably talk shit about some people and it's not anything that they probably haven't heard from my mouth already, but I doubt they'd want to read it on the internet. I want to keep my 'real - life' separate from my 'internet - life'. I want to keep my friends and family anonymous as well. I have a real-life Facebook and myspace but you'll never know what they are. Even the email address I use is in now way related to my everyday life. So there you go.

I also want to use this blog as an outlet. I'm very good at putting up a front and letting everyone I love think that I'm fine and happy and everything's great. But we all know that everything can't be great all the time. So sometimes, I'm falling apart, but the only one who knows is me. And my steering wheel. Because sometimes, the only time I can fall apart is when I'm alone in the car. I'm not proud of that side of me. I've just always kept my problems as my own because no one else can solve them for me. So that's what this is for. A way to work out the problems and way to share the things I find amusing or useful in life.

So there you go. That's about it in a nutshell. I'll be back.

<3